Saying “No”

What do your boundaries look like? How much space is there between you and other people? How much of other people’s emotions, wants and needs permeate your skin? Can you tell the difference between your feelings and other people’s feelings? Between your needs and other people’s needs? Are your boundaries rock hard like a massive wall? Are they loose and airy like wind blowing right through you? Do your boundaries look the same for everyone in your life? Do they look they same with people always or can they shift over time as your relationships change? Healthy boundaries look different depending on the person and the nature of the relationship. Harder boundaries are more appropriate in some relationships and more fluid ones make sense for others. The most healthy boundaries are ones in any given relationship that provide a balance between self care and community care, self interest and compassion. They allow you to get what you need so that you can provide better for others what they need. They are continually re assessed and re constructed, depending on what the particular relationship looks like now, how you want it to look in the future, your past experiences with that person, and the needs the relationship provides you. Healthy boundaries are not made impulsively, although they do take gut instincts into consideration. Healthy boundaries are generally not static and rigid over long periods of time, although in some cases, particularly with very harmful people, they might be. Take a moment and consider an important relationship in your life. Ask yourself about the nature of the boundaries between you and that person. It it was a physical structure, what would it look like? Is that type of boundary serving you best with this person now? Or is it time for some intentional shifting? #boundaries #mentalhealthawareness #sayingno #settingboundaries #mentalhealththerapist #intention

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